Husband is a scuba diver, qualified as a BSAC (British Sub-Aqua Club) Sports Diver. He is a self-confessed diving obsessive, going on diving trips on both Mother’s Day and our 20th Wedding Anniversary, and most weekends in between. Not a problem to me, as I quite like the time (and the bed!) to myself.
He recently returned from a club dive trip to Gozo – two dives every day and as much diving chat as a diving obsessive could want.
All goes well, fun is had by all, and then the last day arrives. Just the one dive, and then hang out stuff to dry and time for a drink.
No one, at this point, has seen how much Husband can drink. The most anyone has seen him imbibe is a pint after the weekly Club meeting, and two glasses of wine at the Club BBQ. They have no idea of just how much he can put away and still remain standing!
So – He begins drinking at midday with his meal, drinks away the afternoon, has a small nap, drinks with dinner – and then they go to a bar…
Where the drinking continues. It is beer he is drinking, it is just so much of it…
At 2am he calls a halt – he still has to pack after all, and doesn’t want to miss his plane. So he trots off, packs, gets a cab with B (who is known for his drinking and has not let the side down).
“Look”, says B, “there’s the others, just getting into the lift. Let’s catch up with them!”
So they hotfoot it to the lift and shove in a hand, successfully stopping it, and jump in. Whoops – lift is full, gives a sort of judder, and refuses to move until large drunk people have left. Which they do, with sheepish grins and wobbliness, and Husband & B decide to take the stairs and meet the others at – yes you’ve guessed it – the bar.
Where they wait, and wait, and have another drink, and wait some more.
“Must have decided not to hang round with us drunks – lestsh have another one!”
Next thing they know, there are AB and the rest, looming over them and looking quite dishevelled.
After Husband & B had got out of the lift, and gone up the stairs, the lift doors had closed – and the lift stayed where it was. It stayed and it stayed and it stayed. They called, they banged the doors, they pressed the alarm button, someone had a panic attack – but it stayed and stayed – and they were, well, I think cross does not begin to cover it.
The Day You Broke the Bloody Lift is now the latest addition to club lore.