My List: Karl Lagerfeld in 24 Hours – Harper’s BAZAAR

My List: Karl Lagerfeld in 24 Hours – Harper’s BAZAAR.

It is true – the rich just are different!

I have everything—sheets and nightshirt and robes—changed every day. I like everything to be washable, myself included. I like antique lace, antique sheets, beautiful quilted covers, but everything is white. In white you can hide nothing. Most people don’t use this kind of sheets and things because it’s very difficult and very expensive for the upkeep. But it’s such a pleasure to go to bed in the evening in a beautiful bed with beautiful sheets and beautiful pillows, everything flawless, in a freshly pressed, long white smock. It’s perfect.

The article is worth a read, just be careful your jaw doesn’t get hurt when it hits the floor!

She’s Nekkid – Oh, Wait.

OMG – do people not look in the mirror before they leave the house? What on earth possessed this woman to wear leggings in the first place, never mind ones that are skin-coloured (yes, I know they are not the same colour as her skin, but they’re pretty close to the colour of mine!)
Not a good look, lady.

Siwy’s Sophie Jean: Mesh with Denim – Whatever Next?

Seriously. Would you wear these?

And with such butt-ugly shoes, as well!

Siwy_Sophie Skinny Jeans_SG.jpgSiwy Sophie Skinny Jeans

Somebody Definitely Needs Their Morning Cup…


fashion fail - Somebody Definitely Needs Their Morning Cup...

Seriously. How do you leave home without your bottom half covering, be that skirt or trousers?

And if these are flesh coloured leggings, I don’t know what to say.

Listen. Go and buy these shorts and boots – at least you will be covered. Though you will probably need your morning cuppa a lot more by the time you have got the boots on, untangled the dangly bits from the shorts from the boots, and done the boots up again…

The heels on these are wicked good. I couldn’t even stand up in them. But still. Wicked.

Photobomb! And such a good one, too…

National Lampoon’s Fugcation Beverly D’Angelo at the “Wishful Drinking” premiere – Go Fug Yourself


Beverly D'Angelo at the "Wishful Drinking" premiere

Either she has a very large hand, with martini (thankfully!) and is being goosed, or she has just been Photobombed by a poster!

Laughing my sock off, whatever

You have got to be kidding me!
The worst thing about these leggings is not, in fact, the knee pads.
The worst thing about these leggings is that they cost £79.0065.00!
Get ’em while they’re cheap!

And they’re 80% wool. So you need to wash them on the wool cycle. In my house, that means I would wear them, then wait a month or so to wash them, as I wait to get enough wool clothes  to make up a load – I don’t buy real wool often, even though it is lovely, because of the need for special care. I like to sling my stuff in the washing machine without having to worry overmuch about it.

Ye gods, doesn’t that look itchy!

Do they hope that the wool keeps you warm, even though they are mostly holes?

I Need a New Hat

Walking Heidi in the park this morning was torture. It was soo cold. I had on a hat, but it was a bobble hat (sans bobble, I hasten to add – I don’t do bobbles!) which kept slipping forward till it was resting on my specs, and leaving my ears and neck all cold and exposed.

Bugger this, I thought. I’ll go and get myself a Peru Hat later today.

I had one like this in mind:

Imagine my glee when I visited the Fashion Police just before lunch. And found this wonderful, wonderful hat:

Wow – not only will it keep my head and ears warm, but my chest as well. A multi-functional hat.

I could even wear it as a cape:

Sorry, honesty prevents me saying this truly is wonderful. Awful maybe. But that’s Maison Martin Margiela for you. Overpriced (this is $4,450 / £2,802.00) and UGLY.

Made from Murmansky fur and Polyester (polyester – jeez, push the boat out, why don’t you!) and needs “Delicate Dry-Cleaning”; another expense. And it will be needed – imagine what it will look like when it gets wet!

And what is Murmansky fur anyway?

(quick riffle through the internets)

Oh shit.  I should NOT have asked myself that question.

Cute! Much, much cuter than the monstrosity they made from her fur. And most Murmansky fur comes from China. You don’t want to research how they get the skins if you have a delicate stomach, cos it makes for bad, bad reading.
(Warning – last link is to a video. And it could keep you up at night.)

But this is China – worst human rights records in the world; why would they care about an animal?

I take it all back.
I hate this hat.
I would never wear this hat.
I will never wear Murmansky fur.

And I am sorry, little canid, that I even for one moment thought it worth laughing about.

What the…

I am a firm believer in the idea that, no matter how a girl dresses, she is never “asking for it”. NEVER. And then I see an image like this.

Help me out, folks.

It’s Miami. Does Miami get dark early, and yet still be warm enough to walk from the beach? And, even so, is a cover up not required? Is it legal in Miami for a woman to walk around showing not only her bum crack, but also her bum cheeks?

If these were your friends, would you tell them “Yeah, you look fine” or would you bitch-slap them into (at the very least) a skirt?

I just know that, however warm the day or night might be, Daughter would never get out of my house dressed like that. Not even in company. Maybe specially not in company – friends get drunk and leave you and then where are you? I’ll tell you where you are – up shit creek without a paddle, dressed in your underwear, without backup.

Underwear is not outerwear – that’s why we call it underwear!

And what the fuck are those boots? Ripped from the feet of hippy yeti? And if it is warm enough to walk round in your undies (and we can see that it is!) why do you need boots that look like they could walk round the Arctic and still keep your feet warm?

fashion fails - Things You Can Find at Pawn Shops


Penguin Trousers. Literally.

Via the amazing and wonderful Fashion Police, without whom many crimes of fashion would go unpunished.


Sometimes fashion just makes me cry.

And what I mostly cry is Why dear god, why!

They only come in UK sizes 10 and 12, and cost £372. Cheap, no?

Oh, just in case you thought they looked better from the back..

So, who’s gonna buy me a pair?

Justin Timberlake To Falsetto His Way To Oscar?



And me right along with him. Oh Jerry, some of us remember you with more respect.