Hot Diggity Dog

Or hot diggity Daughter, who decided to grow chillies. Unspecified variety, found in Homebase’s garden section. Sooo, we don’t know how hot these chillies are.

Youngest eats a whole one. “Whoa, that is HOT!” (glugs pint of milk)

Eldest Son eats a tiny bit of one. “Whoa, that really is hot” (glugs glass of milk).

Daughter then gets chilli juice in her eye: unwashed hands + itchy eye = lots and lots of PAIN.

“Come on, Youngest”, she says. “Stop being useless. Google for something to DOOOOOOO!”

“First result says Put salt on tongue“.

Daughter, being used to Youngest and his ways, says “No, come on Youngest. Be serious – this fucking HURTS!”

“No, honest to god. First result. Put SALT on TONGUE” (Cos somehow Youngest doesn’t understand why we don’t always take his words at face value)

So Daughter puts Salt on Tongue. And (duh) no good whatsoever – in her words “Just made me feel like a packet of crisps. A packet of crisps IN PAIN!”

“Come on Youngest – there must be another result.”

Second result – rinse eye with milk. Then water. Then milk. Then more water, cos milk in the eye is not a good thing in. Which works.

Daughter tells me and Middle Son the story, and Middle Son decides he will eat some chilli. However, being a macho kind of guy, he scorns the tip of chilli that Daughter prepares for him. No way. He is a Manly Man and loves chillies. It can’t be that hot. So he eats the whole thing.

First chew – nothing.
Second chew – nothing
Third chew – face changes colour and eyes water
Fourth chew – what fourth chew?

Glugs a pint of milk, then decides to go for a wee before having a cigarette.

Did anyone notice what he did not do first?

Yes, chilli juice + handling of genitals = Much Pain. And, on our part, Much Laughter. Cos we’re like that.


About bookmole
I am pro-choice. You make yours, I'll make mine, okay?

4 Responses to Hot Diggity Dog

  1. oh my goodness I kept going back and forth from sympathy to disbelief to laughter to sympathy for each of your family members

    thanks for sharing

  2. Doug says:

    Yikes! I have had a …ahem… similar experience. Yogurt works too.

  3. lauowolf says:

    hand washing with peppers a really good idea
    and self-reinforcing too.

    The milk/water eye rinse is good to know.

  4. Redscylla says:

    Oh lord, that’s a good one. Other important task after which you should wash your hands before going to pee: super-gluing.

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